Inside The Actor's Taglines FEATURING Nicolas Cage -Part ONE- The Early Work

Yes, it is time for everyone's favorite wackjob to get his, via a couple of idiots. Personally, I love Nicolas Cage. I don't necessarily mean his work, even though I do love a select few of his flicks (Raising Arizona, Leaving Las Vegas, Matchstick Men, Face/Off), it's just that persona. I don't even really know how to explain it. I have this vision of Nic acting in real life a lot like the picture above, like a nutcase. In my mind he sleeps in a mud bath taken directly from the earth where Christ was born, while a Korean high princess sits on his face. Both literally and figuratively of course. Enough with the hearsay lets get to the early tag lines that helped shape Nicolas Cage into the actor we all know, and some of us kind of enjoy some of the time.
Is one of those things trying to get an up-skirt? I think that Nic went all in on his preparation for this role by literally becoming a vampire. We all know that vampires aren't real, but he believed soooooo hard that he could be one, in his head he was one. That's why he looks like a fucking corpse on this poster. I don't know about you, but I don't see much life behind those eyes.

An artist's rendering of Nic Cage even does Nic Cage just perfect. You've just got to love that rhyming tagline as well. You really just don't see that anymore, and quite frankly, I miss it.

Honestly I love taglines that tell me what genre of movie I'm looking at. It makes me feel like the movie studio respects my intelligence enough to point out it's a comedy despite the Elvis skydivers. Because nothing says genre confusion like skydiving dead inventors of Rock N Roll. Thank Jebus for that.

You know what's beyond the call of life's duty? Having to get within 200 yards of this piece of garbage. Seriously, if you watch it you will just be haunted by regret for at least 15 minutes. Then you will forget all about it, which is basically the worst thing that could happen to a movie. No one remembering it.

Stay tuned for part two of this Nicolas Cage tagline retrospective which is guaranteed to be full of dick jokes, topical humor, and good old-fashioned hate.